Destiny & Friends

Are we destined to particular situations, people, or experiences?  President Monson answered this question in three plain and simple words.  DECISION DETERMINES DESTINY.  An experience I had regarding one of my grandsons brought reflections of my past decisions, that seemingly small at the time,  set a course that led to positive benefits I have been reaping since my teens.   How does my decision,  made so long ago, bubble up again?   A couple of months ago, I received a call  asking me to go to the Mall and pick up my 14 yr old grandson.  He is a great young man, active in his priesthood, admired by his peers, and beloved by his Granny.  So I was surprised when his Father, out of town at the time, told me that my grandson was being held by Security and would only be released to a parent or guardian.   I found him being held by two security officers, along with two friends.  Security told me the "others" were being interviewed in another room.  Items had been stolen from the store.  My grandson immediately told me he did not steal anything, nor would he ever.   He said at the Mall some girls had started hanging around he and his friend.  He knew them from school.  They all decided to leave the store.  As they are going down the mall common area, one of the girls pulled some stolen items out of her purse, bragging about what she had got.  Next thing they heard security officers asking them to stop.  After 45 minutes, Security came in and said that my grandson had not known about the theft and could leave.  It was now dark, and as my grandson talked to his Dad and Mom on the cell, I started the car and turned on the lights.  When I turned on the lights, it was as if a light went on in my spirit.  The experience of my early- teen- past came forcefully in my mind.  I turned off the car and told my grandson the following.  " You did not steal, but you chose to hang out with those friends."  When I was about 13, my good friend moved away.  I was lonely, so I was very happy when a beautiful girl and her friend started to invite me to spend time with them.  One day this girl invited me to her home.  She showed me  a box full of pornography, then she took me to a store, and showed me how to steal.  She stole some sun glasses and wore them back to her house.  Later as I walked home, I felt sad.  My grandmother had taught me what filth was and that stealing was wrong.  I knew, somewhere deep inside, I had to find new friends.  This was hard, because middle school is hard enough.  The lunch room was where everyone got together, so I started to hang out in the rest room to avoid feeling uncomfortable.  I prayed so hard that I would find some new friends.  One day in the restroom, a girl named Ann asked me if I wanted to go with her for lunch.  I had gone to grade school with her, but had never known her on a personal level.  Ann was friends with four other girls that all went to 5th ward.  Those five girls became my devoted friends, and remarkably still are. They were good students, I wanted to be a good student.  They wanted to date good guys, I wanted to date good guys.    They attended seminary, so did I.  They wanted to go to college.  I went to college, and I received a degree.  Neither of my parents graduated from high school.  I look back now and I see clearly where my life would have gone had I not made the decision to change friends.  The beautiful girl who showed me porn and how to steal has led a hard life.  She and her friend experienced early pregnancy, several marriages, and a harder path than I have walked.  I shared this with my grandson in the parking lot that evening, and I have since shared this experience with several of my other grandchildren.  My prayer is that they will know, in their early years, that DECISION DETERMINES DESTINY. 

Lifetime friend, Ann Shirley Merkley and husband Reid.  She drew a circle that took me in.

Chris Rasmussen Leishman and husband Bron.  She is one of my five lifetime friends.