Two Pure Joy Moments

After a month of hurt with my arm, I have experienced a hectic but fun Thanksgiving, several weeks of  ball games for grandson's Brad, Morgan, and Logan, and last but not least, ornament- making family home evening last night with unexpected attendance of Jessi, Cody, and Emma from Provo.   All wonderful, but I was exhausted this morning.   I took time for a short thank- you -prayer and asked to feel joy today.   After cleaning the house and gathering lost and founds, I decided to return Nati's jacket on my way to run errands.  No one was home and she asked me to just go in and leave it.  After placing it on her sofa, her beautiful tree caught my attention so I went over to see if the ornaments from last night were on her tree yet.  I soon found myself studying many ornaments from years past, most made at my home.  Brad and Morgan's name and year carefully recorded on the back.  Then I noticed older handmade ornaments Nati had made when she was a child.  She had carefully placed them at the top of the tree, some made of clay, some of wood, some of fabric.  In my minds eye, I was once again sitting with my little ones around the kitchen table, no care for perfection, but just simply guiding them as they did their best to make an ornament they would display with pride.  Little did I know back then I was starting a tradition that would stretch into the next generation.    Then it came, an unexpected saturating indescribable feeling of pure joy.  Then on my way to a fabric store, a lady caught my eye.  She was limping, but with a good arm carrying a small bag of groceries.  As I got closer, I saw she was holding the other arm in front of her, the fingers curled, her wrinkle-free face pulled lower on one side.  She was a young stroke victim obviously on her way to the low-income apartments that are behind the grocery store.  I immediately thought of my sister Robin, she having experienced a stroke only in her forties.  I was suddenly struck with the contrast.  My sister lives in a beautiful one level home that she can navigate well even since her stroke.  Even with limited use of an arm and leg, she has taught herself to drive her car again.   I thought about how blessed she has been to have a daughter living right next door, the rest of her family within close proximity, and a son and son-in-laws to help if she needs it.  Then  it came, the saturation of pure joy in my whole being for the blessings my sister has been given.  My simple heavenly request to feel joy today had been granted not once but twice.

Our Geneology Rexburg Trip

Robin and I with Elmer Park, our Mother's youngest and only living sybling

It snowed and hailed.  I was still cold in my down coat even with a warm hug.

My sister Robin and I left for Rexburg Idaho to visit with our mother's brother Elmer and her nieces.  Our purpose was to renew friendships and gather genealogy.  We arrived after dark on October 25 and as we came in on the freeway there it was.  The Rexburg temple shining brightly on the hill.  It was spectacular.  We met Uncle Elmer Park and his wife Merlene the next morning for a temple session.  Robin had not attended yet as I had the summer it opened.  It was humbling to see this manifestation of the prophesies out great grandparents had heard many years ago...that a temple of the Lord would one day be on that hill.  When the times were hard for the early Saints, general authority traveled from Salt Lake to bring hope to the discouraged saints.  The elements were "tempered" in the name of the Lord and it was promised that there would one day be  productive farms, a house of learning, and a temple.  These promises were shared with the pioneers from a wagon box.  One such account is shared in our Arnold history.  The saints sat on the floor joists of our great great grandfather's house listening to the hopeful messages shared that week.  They are now known as the Wagon Box Prophecies.  

 Elmer and Merlene work in the temple and they took us on a tour, followed by a dinner in Rigby, and a warm visit at their home during a bitter cold day.  Robin and I took pictures of our parent's homes and took flowers, provided by Elmer, to our parents graves.  The next day we met with our Aunt Ruth"s (our mother's sister) daughters Becky, Sandy, and Cheryl.  We went to dinner with them, and after having a wonderful visit with them, returned to Becky's to copy genealogy.  Becky has been gathering life histories and records for over 30 years.  We copied hundreds and hundreds of pages.  She is an amazing women.  She is and has been a blessing to the entire Park family.  Her sacrifice of time, money, and talent serves as a example for all of us.She is suffering from cancer, so we were amazed at her physical stamina while we took many hours to copy what she had so painstakingly gathered.  When I was on my way back to Utah, I called to thank her once again.  She told me that she too was amazed at the physical well being she had while we were there.  She had not experienced such good days for a long time.  She said she felt strongly that our ancestors had helped her because they wanted us to have the information.  After I returned my sweet sister back home I spent my last night at my brother Tim's house  before I left for home.  I was exhausted and my right arm was starting to really hurt me.  I had a fitful sleep, but  I awoke with the realization that I now had in my possession two hundred years of family history.  With that thought , I realized I  was humming the song from the movie Titanic...a song by Celine Dion.  The words in my head were "Far across the distance and spaces between us, you have come to show you go on. ...Once more you open the door.... and I know that your heart goes on."  The song stayed in my head for a few days.  Maybe it was a spiritual experience or triggered by pictures of great grandmothers in their big turn-- of-- the- century hats. It seemed very sweet to me.

Our Aunt Ruth Harris' daughters.  L to R Sandy, me, Becky, and Cheryl

Robin with cousins

Robin and I in Becky's living room

Pain is a Four Letter Word

After seeing the results of my bother Tim, his wife Ginny,  my niece Rebecca, and then a lady at the community center who had hired personal trainers, I was inspired and motivated to do the same and hopefully have a great experience like they did.   I had started resistance training with a official trainer several weeks before.  She had noticed my lack of "range of motion" on my right and explained that she would get it back and gave me a series of exercises to do,  but it went from lack of range to me wincing....but "just keep it up", she shared.    She showed me how to do pilates while I was gone to Idaho, which I did, but I noticed my range was getting smaller and now my shoulder was tender to touch.After a marathon visit to sister Robin's house, loading her stuff and  then the two of us going on to Rexburg, gathering massive amounts of genealogy, getting her back home, then pushing hard to get back home by Halloween night. By Monday night, I could not lift my arm, even an inch, without wanting to share a high pitched scream.  I could not sleep, or let it hang at my side without pain.  I tossed and turned so much that Walt had to move into the other bedroom at night.  When it became obvious it was not going to heal on its own, I went to a doctor.  After moving it forward, scream, scream, then back, scream, scream.  He said, " You have bone spurs, calcium deposits, in your should and tendon.  Nothing you can do now except have a long and painful recovery.  Scar tissue has to form over the ends then you will begin to get relief."  What?I thought.  First of all you haven't even looked at an xray and I know that some magic physical therapy will fix this.  He gave me steroids and a percocet a powerful pain pill.  I am not a pill taker, but I was very happy to get them, and had them down as soon as I could.  They barely took the edge off.  I did not sleep for most of five straight days.After the x-ray results from the radiologist came back, here is what the doctor told me.  "You have bone spurs and a dense calcium deposit in your shoulder and tendon."  He had it absolutely diagnosed before the xray.  I am such a skeptic when it comes to medical.  The extra exertion on the muscle had inflamed it causing it to irritate the tissue near the calcium deposits.  I think spur is a good word for them.  Just dawned on me spur is a four letter word too, like dragging skin backward on barbwire fence.  The perfect visual for what  I have been feeling.  So here I am,  a list of stuff I can't think of doing, Can't drive, can't read, (too fuzzy), can't sleep well, can't get dressed, Walt has to do it all, can't cook, can't, write, just barely can do key board with one hand, can't can't can't.  This healing will most likely last during the holidays.  Poor me, poor little Penny. Then yesterday during my drug induced feel sorry for myself hours, I had a revelation.   WHAT A SELF ABSORBED IDIOT I AM!  MY SISTER ROBIN HAS TO ENDURE THIS EVERY MOMENT OF HER LIFE.  She might not have the pain, but she cannot use her right arm at all.  Now add to that a disability walking.  I thought I had empathy before but now I have had a healthy dose of reality check.  She is absolutely one of the most amazing women I have ever known.  She has carried her affliction with grace and dignity.  She is and always will be an inspirational example to all who know her. As for me, what I am going through is nothing and I know that there is an end in sight.  I need to remember that just because I am in pain I don't have to be one.

Surprise Visit from Robin

My sister Robin came for a week visit in January. So I was so surprised when she came for another last week. Don and his brother Ray dropped her off on their way to their nephew’s funeral in Phoenix. March 10 is her birthday and she told us so when she arrived. I ignored her statement until the family started to arrive and we got out the ice cream and birthday cake I had hidden in the pantry. She was surprised. It was just plain sweet to get to visit with her again. Even though it had only been just two months ago, I was amazed at the progress she has made in her stroke recovery. She walked without a brace, her speech had dramatically improved, and her sparkle was back. Wow, if she continues to heal at this rate, a year from now will remarkable. I have been taking a photography class with daughter Sheena. Robin happened to be here the week that we were supposed to bring a model to photo. Sheena used Robin and I. She did Robin’s hair and I did her makeup. I just loved the photos. I think Sheena captured, not just a good photo, but also the love we share as sisters.

Game with Robin

I wanted to record an experience some of my children had when Robin was visiting. Cori, Nati, Katy and I played a game on Friday afternoon. It was similar to pictionary, but you mold an image with clay. This game includes a timer and a ton of guessing on what the clay image is supposed to be. What you mold is revealed on a card you get at random. We all started using both hands, and Robin without a complaint, started to mold hers with her left hand. We decided to make the game even, all of us would have to mold our clay using only our left hand. We laughed hard and had a lot of fun, but it gave us all a very real sense of what Rob has been going through regarding only one of her many physical trials since her stroke. We had more empathy and admiration for her "not-give-up" attitude.

Sister Robin Visit

Sometimes life hands you an unexpected gift and that is what I got right after the holidays.  My sister Robin came for a seven day stay.  We had a lot of fun, but it was so wonderful to see the progress she has made since her massive stroke a year ago.  Her speech and walk has improved dramatically.  Even her smile has almost returned.  My Sheena gave Robin a "makeover".  She cut, streaked, and styled her hair on Saturday.

Every day we did something fun.  Just our children, without the kids, came for lunch and games Friday afternoon.  Sunday Robin went to church with me.  After I introduced her in Sunday School, the teacher asked if we were sisters in law.  I answered no and then amazed he said, "The same mother and father?"  We have been getting that all our lives.  She is tall and light, me shorter and dark.  Sunday night everyone came over for a dessert night with Robin.    Our big day was a trip to Zion Park with Walt, Jessi, and hubby Cody, but it rained the entire day.  We still went and had an enjoyable time.  I hated to put her on the plane Tuesday, but it was a comfort to know that she would be even more improved the next time I see her.  She decided that she wants to come for a visit every winter.  The weather was sunny most of the time.  She did not wear her coat most of the time.  I told her I have been trying to get someone from my family here in the winter and it has only taken about 30 years to happen.  Most family visits are when it is hot here.

My Sister Robin's Visit

Don, my sister Robin Hollingsworth's husband, came home from Iraq.  Since her massive stroke almost a year ago, his returning home is such a blessing.  They decided to travel from Caldwell Idaho to Pheonix, Arizona for Thanksgiving, then on for a cruise out of San Diego.  It was sweet to see them for their night stay at our home.  Robin is walking without assistance, talking much better, and hopefully, she will get more use from her arm as time passes.  Her words are much clearer and she tried hard to visit with all our family.  We had a Mexican Fiesta to commemorate her visit.  Most of our family had not seen her since her stroke.  Our grandson Jade even missed his football championship party to be at our family gathering.   My family all hugged Robin before they left to get the kids in bed for school the next day.  My children and grandchildren have always valued extended family visits, dinners, etc.  I pondered that fact after they all left.  I know other "grandparents", such as Walt and I, who complain that their children do not support them in family functions such as we had for Robin and Don.  As I have thought about it, the reason is Walt and I have always valued our relationship with our siblings.  We hold them as most precious.  We speak well of them, we enjoy being with them, and we have supported them in as many of their special or non- special times as we can, even when it is not convenient or costly.  Because of that, our children value with each other and their aunts and uncles.  As I have observed seemingly snubs, or judging, or most common apathy displayed by adults to their brothers and sisters, I wonder if they realize the way they treat and value their siblings is exactly how their own children are going to treat each other when they are all out of the nest.

The hot hula mamas

All of us enjoyed our evening of hula and excellent food. My neices were excellent dancers. I am happy to see them preserving their heritage.

Robin & Family

The last few days at my sister Robins was a whirlwind of family and loved one renewal. Brother Steve & wife Sharon, Aunt Ruth and Uncle Darrel, Brother Joshua and Tim & wife Ginny all came for dinner at Hollingworth home Tuesday. It was great to see everyone. They all were amazed a Robins' progress. Wednesday was movie and dinner out with my Nati and Katy who flew into Boise and traveled back home with me in my car Sunday. Thursday night Josh came out again and we all watched the dvd from the Arnold reunion in June. Heidi and Ren joined us. Friday night everyone gathered at Mindy's boyfriend's cafe. What great food and the floor show was excellent too ...my neices doing hula. They looked beautiful and danced like true Hawaiians.
We stood outside and talked for a long time after it closed. Saturday a.m. Kristi, Mindy, Katy, and Nati all went to garage sales and returned with some serious good deals. Robin and I were invited, but were completely wore out from our week of "relaxation". It was so nice to see our girls enjoying their "cousin friends" and loving the time they spent together.

Driving Miss Daisy (helping my sister)

I am in Caldwell Idaho. I came here with the intent to help my sister Robins' family take a little time off. Even though she is only in her 40s, Robin suffered a massive stroke just before Christmas. Her daughters organized themselves into an extraordinary team of mother helpers. Kristi has assisted with Monday through Fridays, Heidi takes nights, and Mindy does Friday night through Sunday afternoon. This has been devastating with Robin's husband Don in Iraq, medical and financial challenges, and their entire life being turned upside down, to say it has been hard would be an understatement. Robin was improved since I last spent time with her in March. She had a little "outing" planned for us, a night at Ashley Inn located in Cascade Idaho, a beautiful mountain town. Last week we had fun at this awesome victorian inn, but to my surprise it did not stop there. Robin decided she wanted to go on to McCall and stay at the Lakeshore. Robin no longer uses a walker or cane, but she does have a cumbersome brace, a limp, and one arm that does not function at all. She confuses words even though she is very with it in her mind, but her words do not come out the way she wants. This really discourages her, but I reassure constantly that if she does not give up, her articulation will be restored. It is that "give up" part that is the challenge right now. We found out on our trip that she can sing her words very plainly and in full sentences. We sang to some favorite songs I had bought off I-tunes. She could sing almost all of them.

We had a good laugh at the Lake Shore Lodge. She drives a fancy BMW and I could not find a close parking space to unload. When I inquired, they assigned us a valet. He got the keys and assisting us at the car removed Robin's luggage. I did not take my large suitcase because I thought we were only staying one night. I had put my "stuff" in a Albertson's grocery shopping bag. After helping Robin, he asked me where my luggage was. I pointed to the shopping bag. When Robin was out of hearing, the valet asked me if I was her driver? I said I was and turned and asked Robin, "Is you ready for yo room, Miss Daisy?" We did a lot of "Miss Daisy" teasing after that.